If my Sentinel colleague Martin Spinks’ masterplan is to pull a hamstring at Fort William in the hope that I will be his substitute then he is sadly mistaken.
The last time yours truly sat on a bike it was 1984 and that bike was a Raleigh Grifter.
Sitting on a bike these days is an alien concept to me. Riding 960 miles is clearly madness.
But that’s what a bunch of celebrities and media types have volunteered to do in aid of our very own Donna Louise Children’s Hospice at Trentham Lakes.
They’re an odd bunch – and I mean that in a nice way – who have been thrown together for a mighty challenge to ride from John O’Groats to Land’s End.
We’ve got stalwart Donna Louise supporters Nick Hancock and Tony Pulis, Tony’s daughter Steph, fashion guru Jeff Banks, actor Dean Andrews, BBC Radio Five Live’s Mark ‘Chappers’ Chapman, BBC Midlands Today’s Dan Pallett and, of course, our Spinksy.
You learn a lot about someone when you are stuck in a confined space for several days.
So what have I learned so far in between sleeping on tiny bunks on our tour bus which is following the riders as they take turns, in pairs, to ride four to six hour shifts?
Well, I’ve learned that Tony Pulis likes Green Tea and hates Twitter.
I’ve learned that it’s best not to be around Dean Andrews when he’s had curry, baked beans or energy supplements.
I’ve found out that Jeff Banks smokes big Cuban cigars and has a penchant for embellishing the truth.
I’ve also learned that there are two types of celebrity. The ones who talk and the ones who do.
There’s been no moaning from any of the riders despite a nine-hour unscheduled stop at Lancaster services on the M6 when our tyre blew out.
There’s been no belly-aching about the lack of sleep, the cramped conditions and the camp-style food being served on trestle tables as we inch slowly south.
They’ve all given up their time for a brilliant local charity which is close to the hearts of so many people in North Staffordshire.
Over the next few days they will eat carbohydrates until they come out of their ears, be woken in the dead of night and be riding in all weathers for hours on end.
Give them you’re support please. They’re a great bunch and they’re earning it – and massive respect.
*Anyone wishing to make a donation should log on to: http://www.onyerbike2012.org and click on Sponsor The Riders