Just look at what COULD happen in our neck of the woods in 2013

Port Vale striker Tom Pope is set for a big year in 2013.

Port Vale striker Tom Pope is set for a big year in 2013.

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day and a New Year to boot.
As we shrug off the hangovers and stare balefully into the slate grey skies I, for one, am determined to be positive.
You know, I think 2013 might be alright if my crystal ball is anything to go by.
Here’s what COULD happen in the next 12 months…

*Stoke City qualify for the Europa League two months before the end of the season on account of not having lost a game at the Brit since 2003.
Sir Alex Ferguson gives Tony Pulis ‘the hairdryer’ for not having the decency to sell England defender Ryan Shawcross back to him – muttering something like: “He forgets all the favours I’ve done him” and mentions Stoke being “just a wee club in the Midlands”.
Potters striker Michael Owen then wins the BBC Sports Personality of the Year Award. Like his three predecessors – Tony McCoy, Mark Cavendish and Bradley Wiggins – Owen takes the crown after spending his entire sporting year sitting down. (Joke © The Sentinel’s Sportsdesk)
*Sir Alex Ferguson is left tearing what’s left of his hair out as Tom Pope turns down a multi-million pound move to Old Trafford as a like-for-like replacement for Wayne Rooney.
Explaining his decision to The Sentinel, the Pontiff – whose 40 goals fire Port Vale to automatic promotion – said: “What’s Salford Quays got that I conna get in Sneyd Green, youth?”
Port Vale Supporters’ Club begins fund-raising for a statue of Pope, scheduled to be completed to coincide with the 27-year-old’s 40th birthday celebrations.
Meanwhile, in honour of the Burslem club’s success, the city council lifts the ban on Vale players urinating in the bushes at Hanley Forest Park.
*In a bid to save money Stoke-on-Trent City Council ditches plans to relocate its Civic HQ from Stoke to Hanley in favour of a move to neighbouring Newcastle.
Explaining the decision, council leader Mohammed Pervez said most people considered Newcastle to be in the Potteries anyway, even it was “a bit posher”.
However, councillors in the Loyal and Ancient Borough start a petition against the proposals – barricading themselves into the Guildhall until those riff-raff have gone away.
*In an attempt to improve Stoke-on-Trent’s image in the wake of the disastrous BBC documentary The Year The Town Hall Shrank, council leader Mohammed Pervez agrees to star in I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here.
After successfully completing several Bushtucker trials councillor Pervez is narrowly beaten into third place by the pretend opera singer off the Go Compare telly adverts and a kangaroo named Dave.
Mr Pervez, however, remains upbeat – claiming he has “put the city on the map” and reveals he has persuaded Ant and Dec to appear in The Regent Theatre’s pantomime.
*Buoyed by his appearance on ITV1, city council leader Mr Pervez unveils the authority’s latest cost-cutting initiatives.
These include only four out of five council workmen being allowed to loaf about for two hours at lunchtime.
*Staff at the Potteries Museum and Art Gallery are put in celebratory mood once more following the discovery of a further 700 pieces of the Staffordshire Hoard in a field near Lichfield.
After farmer Fred Johnson ploughs the earth deeper than a Rory Delap throw-in, he churns up Excalibur, the Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail as well as the missing tail fin from the city’s Spitfire RW388.
The museum’s Principal Collections Officer Deb Klemperer tells The Sentinel that experts hope to have worked out what the new finds actually are before she retires in 2050.
*Staffordshire’s new Police and Crime Commissioner Matthew Ellis unveils his radical new idea to solve the force’s acute staffing shortage.
After appointing his sixth deputy, Mr Ellis tells the media he will be handing out police uniforms to anyone who wants one, adding: “This is the Big Society in action. The genius of the idea is that the crims won’t know who’s a real copper and who isn’t.”
The Sentinel’s crime reporter thinks he’s joking until he hands her a canister of CS spray some flashing blue lights for her motor.
*Local radio stations run another story claiming The Sentinel is closing down.
The Sentinel’s Editor-in-Chief responds by publishing a 148-page supplement to mark the paper’s 148th anniversary – including all the stories the paper has beaten the radio stations to during the previous week.
*Developers of the new multi-million City Sentral retail complex on the site of the former Hanley Bus Station announce they have attracted another big name store to the development.
Poundland confirms it will be employing up to six part-time staff at its new superstore.
A spokesman for the shopping complex reveals the name is also to be changed after a huge public outcry because City Sentral is “clearly a bit daft”.
Expect the new Jonny Wilkes Centre to be open in
time for Christmas.
What are your hopes for 2013?

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Cycle pioneer Brian is still making tracks at 73

It’s Christmas Day in the early Eighties and the boys of Stoke-on-Trent are heading downstairs hoping that Santa Claus has done the business.

I’m one of them and sure enough, next to my Santa sack filled with presents, stands a gleaming new, light blue Raleigh Grifter.

Back then it was a fairly straight choice for boys of a certain age: Grifter or Chopper.

One of Santa’s little helpers who made dreams come true for generations of Potteries children was making that choice was Brian Rourke.

The 73-year-old’s name is synonymous with cycling in the city and remembers only too well the days when Raleigh’s bikes were household names.

He said: “Those were the bikes that started me off, really. The Choppers, Grifters, Tomahawks and Budgies.

“We sold a hell of a lot of them back when it was manic in the run up to Christmas and then fairly quiet for the rest of the year.”

Brian borrowed £200 from a friendly bank manager to start his business in Waterloo Road, Burslem, in 1972.

By then he was a 33-year-old veteran cyclist, a winner of numerous races and someone with enough experience and expertise to turn his passion into a business.

Brian actually came to cycling quite late.

He explained: “I never owned a bike until after I left school. It would have been the mid-1950s and my dad had refused to buy me one because he thought there was too much traffic on the roads. I suppose it’s a good job he’s not around now!

“I think perhaps because I’d been denied cycling when I was younger I wanted it all the more when I finally got my own bike.”

Brian added: “My love of cycling was actually fuelled by the fact that I wasn’t able to follow my dream to become a professional footballer. I played for Stoke-on-Trent schoolboys twice but that came to an end because they wouldn’t let me play wearing my thick glasses. There was, of course, no such thing as contact lenses in those days. I was devastated and so turned my attenton to cycling.

“At first it was just about me and my mates riding to see other friends up Packmoor way. Then we would cycle a bit further to places likes Congleton.

“Over time we would go further and further to places like Macclesfield. Looking back it’s amazing how far we travelled on the bikes we had.”

In the early Sixties, after he had completed his National Service, Brian began to race competitively.

He went on to ride all over the UK and abroad – taking part in three Tour of Britain rides with his close friend Les West, another Potteries cycling legend.

Brian said: “Back then the tour was about 1,600 miles – not the 900-or-so it is today and we did it with our feet strapped on to the pedals. I remember the straps used to leave marks.

“Everything has changed so much over the years. Bike technology has advanced incredibly. These days and all the gear is made for speed and comfort and is so much lighter.”

Brian is thrilled that cycling is enjoying such a renaissance – thanks in no small part to British riders such as Bradley Wiggins and Mark Cavendish enjoying success at the Tour De France and London 2012.

Stoke-on-Trent has been quick to seize the initiative – cultivating a reputation as a ‘cycling city’.

On September 13 the fifth stage of this year’s Tour of Britain comes to the Potteries – followed 10 days later by the Tour Ride where ordinary people and charity fund-raisers can follow in the tracks of the world’s top riders.

Brian said: “It’s great for the city. Cycling tends to go through phases – with different types of cycling enjoying popularity.

“At the moment it’s the road racers who are riding high – which is good for my business – but BMX and mountain bikes have had their moments too.”

Brian recently drew on his five decades of experience to coach celebrity riders including Stoke City manager Tony Pulis and comedian Nick Hancock who took part in a charity cycle ride from John O’Groats to Land’s End in aid of the Donna Louise Children’s Hospice.

He said: “None of them were really riders but they showed what anyone can do with proper advice, preparation and the right gear. At the end of the day, when you boil it down, it’s just one person and the bike they are riding.”

Pick up a copy of the Weekend Sentinel every Saturday for 12 pages of nostalgia